MTV Reality Show Blog

Christian Bale is eighteen times cooler than you, or anyone you will ever meet. This is a fact.

Most Americans have no idea he’s actually a Brit
Critics and directors frequently lament that there are few, if any, truly great new American actors. And with people like Christian Bale not only tricking a good percentage of the

US population into thinking he was born there, but doing it really damn well, it’s not hard to see why.

Bale was born in

Wales, and he most assuredly has a British accent. Yet for what seems to be the majority of his films (Equilibrium, American Psycho, Shaft, Harsh Times, etc), Bale has a damn-near-perfect American accent. Hell, even during his press interviews for Batman Begins, Bale intentionally retained his American accent; partially to keep the film from seeming “too English” (considering Bale, director Chris Nolan, Gary Oldman, and literally all of the villains hail from Europe), partially so as to not break the illusion that Bruce Wayne is an all-American character, and partially just because he’s a total badass.

He’s insanely committed to looking the part
It’s all a matter of public record now, but Christian Bale lost sixty pounds to play the part of Trevor Reznik in The Machinist. Considering Bale’s last film was Equilibrium, a high-powered action shootemup, the man went from this

He was Batman
And he was the only actor to play him the way he should have been played. Clooney admits he accidentally played the character as gay, Val Kilmer played Bruce Wayne exactly the same as the Batman, and Michael Keaton somehow sucked all the charisma out of Bruce Wayne.

Bale effectively handled the charm and affluence of Bruce Wayne whilst simultaneously turning Batman into a completely separate character who, for the most part, scares the shit out of the audience just as much as he does the baddies. Granted, sometimes his animalistic grunts border on cartoony, but no one can deny the sheer ass-tightening badassity of his reply to a thug who spills his guts and swears to God: “Swear to ME!”

Bale’s Batman is a good guy, but not so good that you’d want to spend more time around him than absolutely necessary. He’s everything that Batman should be: heroic, yet terrifying.

And Bateman
Let’s not forget one of Bale’s best performances ever; that of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. As the story goes, dozens of young actors auditioned for the role of Bateman, but all tried to play him up as a psychopathic womanizer – in other words, they all tried to give him actual character. After many underwhelming auditions by other performers, Bale played the character exactly has was written: with a complete lack of personality.

Everything Bateman says has been stolen from some other source: he reads music magazines so he knows about Huey Lewis (‚ÄúThe whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost‚Äù), he listens to newsradio so he can pretend to be up on world events (‚ÄúWell, we have to end apartheid for one. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger‚Äù), and even when his true, homicidal nature reveals itself (‚ÄúI like to dissect girls. Did you know I’m utterly insane?‚Äù), he still talks like a game show host.

He’s in Rescue Dawn
Bale also spends the majority of his time in the film next to a character played by Steve Zahn, which means that – somehow – Christian Bale has the ability to stand in the presence of Steve Zahn for more than an hour and a half without punching him in the ballsack (an impulse neither Matthew McConaughey nor Tom Hanks could resist). This incredible amount of self-control should, for all intents and purposes, be rewarded with a medal of honor.

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